Once Considered a ‘Soft Skill,’ Empathy Has Become a Core Competency

For decades, a Chief Business Official’s (CBO) success was measured in decimals and balance sheets. If the payroll was accurate and the budget was balanced, the job was done; the concept of empathetic leadership simply wasn’t on the ledger.

However, a CASBO survey of CBOs revealed a striking disconnect: CBOs ranked empathetic leadership as their least important skill and the one they were least comfortable practicing. That comfort zone is being challenged. Today, empathy is a competency that a growing number of education leaders now consider essential to effective leadership.

The CBO survey results are an invitation to a wider conversation about what it truly means to lead in an environment that’s as much about people as it is about finances. Empathy was once considered a soft skill that leaders either had or didn’t have. Many are beginning to see empathy as the foundation of leadership itself – and its absence carries measurable consequences for staff, students and the health of entire organizations.

To understand what empathy looks like in practice for school business officials, we spoke with three CBOs who shared their experiences, challenges and convictions on the subject.

A Person Behind Every Number

Dorothy Reconose, CBO at Milpitas Unified School District, has a habit she brings to every budget meeting: Before discussing where to cut, she reminds her team to look for reductions that stay as far from the classroom as possible.

“For every single number in my spreadsheet, there is a student being served behind that number – orders, supplies, services,” Reconose explains. “Those services are supporting the students and the teachers. It is the most common misconception that because we are numbers people, there is no empathy on our side.”

Reconose’s perspective on empathy is deeply personal. Early in her career, before she moved into management, she came close to being laid off – an experience she says she has never forgotten. “I was scared to go to a different district and lose my seniority. That was my security blanket. It was my biggest fear, and it almost happened,” she says. “Being in that position shakes your stability. You think: I won’t have a job. How will I pay my mortgage? That’s always in the back of my mind.”

That vulnerability, she argues, is precisely what makes her a more effective leader today. When her district faces difficult budget decisions – decisions that could affect people’s livelihoods – she approaches them with an understanding of what it feels like to be on the other side.

“I can relate to how that person feels when they hear they are getting laid off,” she says.

“I always put people first, even though I’m in the numbers business. I see the people and the services we provide behind every number.”

Reconose credits the relationships she built with colleagues as part of what saved her job during that difficult period. “Everyone rallied around me,” she said – a lesson she now applies to how she leads her own team. For her, empathy is not separate from the work of school finance. It is woven into every decision.

We’re in the People Business

Mark Schiel, deputy superintendent and CBO at Santa Clara Unified School District, has watched the CBO role transform over the course of his career. What was once a position anchored almost entirely in budget management, maintenance and operations has evolved into something more complex – and more human.

“Today you are involved in politics, the board, the community,” Schiel said. “With any evolution in society, things change over time. It is clear now more than ever that we are in the people business.”

Schiel describes empathy as both a core competency and a skill that has taken on new urgency as the profession changes. More people are entering school business from nontraditional backgrounds – careers in education, nonprofit work or other fields – and they bring with them a different vocabulary around leadership, one that includes conversation about feelings, well-being and emotional intelligence.

“They talk about empathy and feelings,” Schiel says. “If I tell my staff we’re going to do an ice breaker, they look at me like I have three heads. But we need that.” He’s candid about what happens in organizations where empathy is absent. The consequences, he says, are not just interpersonal – they show up in retention numbers and operational efficiency.

“Without empathy, employees have a sense they aren’t cared about – that leadership just cares about the work getting done,” he says. “When that permeates, you won’t have the loyalty of people. They will seek out other places where they feel respected. You’ll see a higher degree of turnover – and when that happens, you won’t be operating as efficiently as you could.”

Schiel’s view is that empathy is not about sentiment. It is about the fundamentals of how organizations function. When leaders treat people as whole human beings – with dignity, with curiosity, with respect – the institution benefits. When they do not, the costs are real and lasting.

Lead, Don’t Just Manage

Monique Stovall, CBO at Washington Unified School District, doesn’t hesitate when asked whether empathy is a core competency for CBOs. “Absolutely it’s a core competency,” she says. “I believe it’s part of leadership.”
For Stovall, the absence of empathy in school business leadership has a predictable result: “We’ll be seen as bean counters. It’s what people naturally think of us.” Without empathy, she argues, the CBO’s ability to effectively support students and collaborate across departments is fundamentally compromised.

But Stovall’s vision of empathy goes beyond simply being kind or understanding. She describes it as being “authentic” – a way of showing up that creates permission for others to do the same.

“To me, it’s about being an authentic person who listens to others,” she said. One of the clearest ways she demonstrates this to her team is by consistently communicating a simple priority: Their health and family come first.

“I make sure my team knows that what is happening in our personal lives is always the priority,” she says. “It helps us be more present. If we need to breathe and pause, we take that moment.”

That approach also applies to mistakes. Rather than responding to errors with blame or discipline, she uses them as opportunities for reflection and growth. “When someone makes a mistake, help them unpack it. What were we thinking? Let’s reevaluate it together.” That psychological safety, she argues, is not just good for morale – it’s strategically essential in a field that must continuously adapt to the changing needs of students.

“Our kids are changing,” Stovall said. “If we still did all the things we did 20 years ago, that’s not going to support kids. Empathy helps people feel confident that we will figure it out – and helps us as an organization, as a school district, to move forward.”

She frames the distinction simply: “As a leader, it is a reminder to lead and not manage. In other words, lead someone to grow instead of telling them what to do.”

Building the Empathy Muscle

The voices of Reconose, Schiel and Stovall align with a growing body of thinking in leadership development more broadly. According to research highlighted by the University of St. Thomas’s Opus College of Business, empathy is widely regarded as a cornerstone of emotional intelligence, a skill increasingly recognized as a driver of team success. But recognizing empathy’s importance and actually practicing it under the pressure of a budget crisis or a difficult personnel decision are two very different things.

The good news: Empathy can be learned, strengthened and made into habit.

Start with listening – really listening.

Most leaders listen to respond. Empathetic leaders listen to understand. That means resisting the urge to problem-solve while someone is still talking, asking follow-up questions and reflecting back what you’ve heard before moving to solutions. In practice, this can be as simple as starting a difficult conversation with, “Tell me what’s been happening from your perspective” and sitting with the answer before offering your own.

Connect the numbers to the people they represent.

Reconose’s habit of pausing before budget cuts to name the students and staff behind each line item is a practice any CBO can adopt. Before presenting a financial recommendation, ask yourself: Who is affected by this decision? What will it mean for their day-to-day work or their sense of stability? Building this reflection into your standard process keeps the human dimension of financial decisions visible.

Draw on your own experience of vulnerability.

Each of the three CBOs profiled traces their empathy, at least in part, to something they’ve personally been through – financial insecurity, the fear of job loss, the experience of leadership that did or didn’t see them as a whole person. Making a conscious practice of revisiting those memories, especially before difficult conversations, can recalibrate your perspective. When you’re about to deliver hard news, ask yourself: What would I have needed to hear in this moment?

Create psychological safety in small, consistent ways.

Stovall’s approach – telling her team explicitly that their health and family come first – is not a grand gesture. It’s a repeated, low-stakes signal that builds trust over time. Leaders can do this through small rituals: Asking how people are doing and waiting for a real answer, acknowledging when a workload is unreasonable or opening a staff meeting with something personal before moving to business. Schiel’s ice breaker example is instructive: Even when it lands awkwardly at first, the attempt itself communicates something important about the kind of leader you want to be.

Treat mistakes as data, not failures.

Stovall’s practice of unpacking errors collaboratively is a concrete method for building psychological safety that also improves organizational performance. When staff know that mistakes lead to reflection rather than blame, they’re more likely to surface problems early, take appropriate risks and trust leadership with honest information.

Seek perspectives outside your own experience.

Schiel notes that leaders coming from nontraditional backgrounds often bring a different vocabulary around emotional intelligence – one that can feel foreign to veterans of school business. Rather than dismissing that discomfort, treat it as useful information. Seek out colleagues whose leadership style differs from yours. Ask staff directly how they experience your leadership. Consider a mentor, coach or peer group that explicitly engages with the human side of the CBO role.

Make empathy a professional development priority, not an afterthought.

The CASBO survey surfaced low confidence in empathy among CBOs, which suggests the profession has an opportunity to build this into leadership training more intentionally. Workshops or books on active listening, emotional intelligence assessments and structured peer reflection can all help develop the skill in ways that feel concrete and applicable, rather than abstract.

The leaders profiled here have figured out something essential: The numbers and the people behind them are not in competition. In school districts, where every dollar spent or saved ultimately lands in a classroom, building the empathy to hold both at once may be the most important competency of all.